A work in progress..

So it's been several months since the disappearing act of Mr Alabama. That really hurt and I was pretty upset for a while. How was it that this person who wasn't really in my life for that long have such an affect on me? For a while I kept asking myself that question. Then, it finally dawned on me, the hurt that I was feeling, why it felt so bad was because I never really let myself feel the hurt and the pain that my ex husband caused. I had been so busy adjusting to my new circumstances, being focused with the kids and just trying to get my mind off things that I never really had the time to process everything and really evaluate what happened. Needless to say, it had finally all caught up with me. Having Mr Alabama leave shouldn't have hurt that much but his disappearing act was an obvious sign of rejection. The same feeling that I felt when my ex husband had rejected me in pursuit of someone else. So, with this new realization, I spent most of February re-evaluating and re-inventing ME. If I was ever going to be happy and I mean truly happy with myself, I needed to check myself. I thought about who I was and how I turned out. Was I happy with who I had become? The truth was, no I wasn't. I lost myself. I lost my confidence, my personality and my power. So, I started reading blogs, articles and books from women who had been through something like this for inspiration. I found an image that I posted on Facebook as a way to remind me that I was a work in progress. #ChristinaAguileraismyidol

I love this. It is a great reminder for me and for those who are re-inventing yourselves, remember, redefining yourself is not an overnight thing!! With this in mind, I wrote down little goals to achieve every month: 2014 - Redefine Me, January - Internal analysing, where I want to go, where I want to be, healthy habits, reconnect with old friends, meet new people - DONE February - drop the last 5 kgs, increase flexibility and muscle tone, quit smoking, run 10km, go out dancing!!, learn something new. I started eating healthy, not just because I wanted to drop the last 5kgs, but because I knew that in order to achieve these, I needed to be healthy inside and out. The result so far...I am now only 1kg away from my goal weight that I have spent the last 7 years trying to achieve. This was taken in January 2014:

This was taken March 2014:

These weren't drastic changes that would shock my system. They were small changes but they were consistent and slowly the results are starting to show. So, if you're like me and you can't really stick to anything when you make drastic changes, i.e. diet, keep the goal small. It might take longer, but you will still see a result. Since these changes, I am now enjoying going out and finding new outfits to suit my personality and style. At the moment I am really loving the idea of Boho Luxe. Next goal... grow my hair.. have healthy hair!!